What Would Happen If A LOTR Fan Were Sent To ME
by Wandering Prophet
Summary: Does the name say it all? I know it's been done many times before but read this anyway. It's really what would happen if I were sent to Middle0Earth.
1. Default Chapter

What Would Really Happen If A Lord Of The Rings Fan Were Sent To Middle-Earth!

Chapter 1: Default Chapter

A/N: Hey! It's like 12:30 am and yet again I can't sleep. Lucky for you its math time! Let's see: Me + no sleep+ this spiral and pencil= my own fic! So read on if ya wanna.

"Vanessa, if your room isn't clean by 6 o clock tonight I'm not going to allow you to ride at all this week. Do you hear me?" my mother screamed up to me.

"I know, I know," I said not really paying attention to anything she said because I was *gasp* cleaning. My idea of cleaning is just a wee bit different from what you may have in mind though. I was reading some notes my friend Meenie had written to me in, like, the 8th grade. "Hmmmm…. What's she talking about?" I said out load to no one because they wouldn't know either.

        If its one of your friends probably sex," my sister answered.

        "Hmmm… you might be right, Lauren," I said 

        "Of course I am. I read all those notes months ago."

          "Whatever," I scoffed.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - Several hours later- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

    "Oh crap!" I exclaimed. "Its 5:30! I only have half an hour to clean my room! Ahhhhh!!!"

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -30 minuets later - - - - - - - - - - - - -

    "Girls! I'm coming upstairs to check your rooms. I know Lauren's is clean but it's Vanessa's I need to see," my mom said while walking up the stairs.

    "Oh shiz-nitz! I'm not going to be able to see my horse for a week!" I thought.

    "Vanessa! I gave you two days to clean your room and this is the best you can do? Nuh-uh. I'm taking away your riding privileges for one week. I'll go inform Tammy to ask Andrea to ride Slick for you next week. Meanwhile you clean this room right now," and with that she was gone.

    "Poo."

    About 2 hours later I was just about finished cleaning my room. Personally, I don't see the point in cleaning my room before my grandparents came up for a visit. All my grandmother did was clean our house when she came and my grandfather watched golf all day or watched her clean.

    "Vanessa?" my sister asked me (she's sitting on my bed and watching me clean).

    "What's that sheet of paper on your wall?"

    "Where?"  I didn't remember putting anything on my wall. It was a note from one of my friends. "Did you put it there?" I asked my sister.

    "No."

    "Are you sure?"

    "Yes."

    I still wasn't convinced because I know I didn't put it there. I took it down and proceeded to read it when all of the sudden I heard "Vannneeessssssaaa!!!"

    I put the note into my book bag knowing I wouldn't get to read it this weekend. Not with my grandparents here.

- - - - - - - - - -Monday 2nd period (IPC) - - - - - - - - - -

   "And if it reaches that temperature it will melt. Is everyone with me? Vanessa, please stand up, it doesn't look as if you're paying attention," my IPC teacher Coach Thibideaux, said.

    "But….I was watching you," I said.

    "That's not good enough."

    "Whatever," I said as I stood up.

    "What did you say?" he asked me.

    "Nothing. Please continue with your oh so interesting lecture."

    "I don't like your tone, missy."

    "I don't like your face," I said to him.

    "Leave this room, _now."_

    "I think not," and I slapped him. Would you believe he slapped me back? I kicked him in the crotch, turned, and grabbed my belongings.

    "I'm going to my counselor," I said and walked out.

    "I thinks she's mad," my friend Paul said. The only response he got from Coach T was a high pitched squeak.

A/N: He he! That was fun! I wish I could really do that to him. Don't forget to review my first ever solo fic chapter!


	2. And I'm off!

Chapter 2: And I'm off!

        Of course I didn't go to my counselor. I went to the upstairs south wing girl's bathroom. No one ever goes in there because a) no one has any classes over there and b) that's the bath room where everyone smokes in.

        I walked into the bathroom and it was just a blanket of smoke. I could hardly breathe it was so smoky.

        "Heather?" I called because I couldn't see anything.

        "I'm over here," I heard.

        "Oh, ummm… hi, Jessie," I said.

        For those of you who don't know who Jessie is he's Heather's boyfriend. He has piercing all over his body. You know the type: tattoos, beer, piercing, sex, Goth-like.

        Jessie, Heather, and about 3 of their friends were smoking who knows what.

        I thought I would be able to read the note I found on my wall but it was so smoke-filled that I had to leave.

        I left the bathroom and went into an empty classroom. I flipped the switch so I could read and pulled out my note.

        As I read on I noticed that it switched to a different language part of the way down.

        "Arne neo lim hara neo lim gahe," I said out loud.

        Next it said to say aloud the name of a place.

        I said the first place that popped into my head… "The Shire," I shouted and in a loud bang I was gone.

A/N: Yeah, yeah, I know, it was short. The next one will be longer. Promise.  


	3. Swimming Hobbits

Chapter 3: Swimming Hobbits

A/N: I'm on the bus home so this chapter will be kinda weird.

Disclaimer: I haven't been putting this in. I'm a bad hobbit. I own nothing except maybe me. It's kinda sad really but Tolkien owns everything good in this story. Well, on we go!

        I was falling for about 60 seconds in darkness. Everything around me was black. I wanted to scream but I was afraid of who would hear me. Would it be a teacher who ran up and scolded me or would I simply awake in my room from a nightmare?

        Then I landed hard on something though I didn't know what. I started to look around but then I heard a "Grroff!" The something I had landed on was a someone.

        "OMG! I'm so sorry!" I cried as I tried to help the stranger I had landed upon up. 

        As the mysterious stranger got up and dusted himself off I realized that in fact this person was a hobbit by the name of Samwise Gamgee.

        "Sam?!" I cried incredulously. "Can it be?"

        "Ai, Samwise Gamgee at your service. I wish not to sound rude but I know not who you are, my lady."

        "I'm Vanessa," I said to the curious hobbit. "Hey, ummm... do you think you could show me around The Shire?"

        "Alright, but I'm on my way home. I'll show you everything on my way."

        "Ok," I said. "I hope I get to see Pippin," I thought to myself.

        Sam showed me around and along the way we met Frodo Baggins sitting by a tree reading a book.

        "Hullo, Mr. Frodo," Sam greeted the hobbit.

        "Greetings, Sam," he replied. "Who's this you've found?" he asked looking at me,

        "This is Vanessa. I found her. Well, she found me actually. She kinda fell and landed on me."

        "Let's go find Merry and Pippin. They should be interested in her too," Frodo said off-handedly. 

        Off the three of us walked in search of Frodo's cousins. We found them by the lake swimming.

        "Oi! Merry! Pippin! Come on over we have someone we want you to meet!" Frodo called.

        Merry looked over, saw that I was a she and quickly covered up with a shirt.

        "Pip, it's a girl, put some clothes on," he quickly whispered to his cousin and best friend.

They ran up soaking wet (Pippin was looking incredibly hott).

        "Hello, Frodo, Sam," Merry said. "Who's this?" he asked looking at my strange attire (to him it was weird, but to me I was dressed for school).

        "Allow me to introduce a new friend of ours, Lady Vanessa."

        "Howdy," I said shaking each of the hobbit's hands.

        "Howdy? I haven't heard that one before," Pippin said looking confused.

        "Why don't we head over to Pippin's house?" Merry asked. "It's the closest and Pip and I can dry off."

        "Fine with us," we agreed.


	4. When Cell Phones Attack!

Chapter 4: When Cell Phones Attack

~ ~ ~ At Pippin's house ~ ~ ~

        Pippin and Merry had dried off and we were all sitting around the table eating (I missed lunch and it had been 3 hours since the hobbits last ate). Pippin was sitting next to me and had been following me around ever since I had met him. Oooo… I was loving it.

        "So how exactly did you get here?" Frodo asked me. I explained to him everything I could. As soon as I was finished I realized that the hobbits were staring at me.

        "What? Do I have spinach in my teeth?"

        "No," Pippin said breaking the silence. "It's just that we've never met anyone from Earth before."

        "Ok… Oh! What time is it?" I asked.

        "6 o' clock," Sam answered.

        "I was supposed to call my friend Christy, like, 3 hours ago!" I exclaimed taking out my cell phone and calling my best friend. "Christy?" I asked as she answered the phone.

        "Vanessa, you should know better than to call me this early," she yawned.

        "Early?!" It's 6 o' clock!"

        "Ummm… that would be a no. It's 3 am."

        "Oh, sorry. There must be a time difference."

        "Where are you?" she asked me.

        "Christy, you better sit down because you're not going to believe this. I'm in Middle-Earth!!"

        "You lie! No way!" she screamed. "Is Merry there? If he is you better keep your grubby hands off of him."

        "Don't worry. I've got my eye on someone else. I got to go. I don't think my long distance company is going to be very happy. Well maybe they will. This call is going to cost me a fortune! Bye, tell my mom that I'm sleeping at your house, Ok, thank you!" I hung up the phone and yet again the hobbits were staring at me.

        "What you never seen a phone before? Oh, I guess not."

        Immediately the hobbits just about pounced on me. They tried to grab my phone which I had placed in my back pocket. Let me tell you, I didn't hate it when Pippin grabbed my phone.

        "Let me see it!" "No!" "Give it to me!" "Hey! Give that back!" "Get your foot outta my face!" "Oww… That hurt!" they argued.

        "Stop it!!!" I yelled. And they froze in their tracks. "Give me my phone, now." Sam handed me the phone and they each sat down in their chairs without a word still staring at me as if I were the devil. "You don't ever touch my phone. Ya hear? My friend Tim tried that once, and he'll never do it again." I sat back down. "Carry on with whatever you were talking about."

        It quickly became dark and I was getting quite tired. 

        "I don't want to sound rude, but where am I going to stay tonight? I don't know how to get home still."

        "You can stay with me," and "Come with me," were shouted from each of the hobbits.

        "Whoa. I only need one place to stay, not four. It honestly doesn't matter to me where I stay just to let you know."

        "Me, me! Stay with me!" and other phrases of the same sort were shouted.

        "Ok. Well I can't make up my mind when you all shout at the same time!" I said. "Well let's go in order oldest to youngest or whatever."

        "I'm the oldest," Frodo said. "Stay with me, I live right down the road."

        "I found you. I've known you the longest," Sam put in.

        "My home is the biggest," Merry said.

        "Well, you're already here," Pippin commented. "You wouldn't have to walk anywhere."

        After a few moments of thinking I decided to stay with Pippin. The other hobbits went home after saying their good-byes.

        Once outside, Merry said to Sam, "She only chose to stay there because Pippin touched her butt."

        Pippin showed me to the guest room and I headed in and started to get undressed (I didn't have any pajamas!) when I heard a knock at my door. "One minute," I called. I opened the door and Pippin was standing there in my doorway.

        "Yes?"

        "Oh, yeah, my rooms right next door if you need anything."

        "Ok, thank you, good night."

        "And the washroom is right across the hall."

        "Alright, 'night." 

I finished getting        undressed and I hopped into my bed. "I think I'm going to like it here," I thought to myself while drifting off to sleep.


	5. Trail Ride

Chapter 5: Trail Ride

        I awoke the next morning and I was surprised to find a hobbit staring at me in the face.

        "Ahhh!!!" I screamed. "What are you doing? I'm not dressed!" I tried covering up with my blanket while I was yelling.

        "I just wanted to know if you wanted any breakfast," he said innocently. "You looked so peaceful I didn't want to wake you."

        "Whatever. I'll be right out for breakfast, just let me get dressed." He didn't move. "Go! I'm not getting out of bed until you leave, I'm not wearing anything." He left the room. I felt kind of bad for yelling at him but I didn't expect him to come into my room while I was naked. 

~ ~ ~ 15 minutes later~ ~ ~

        I walked out into the eating area after I was dressed and clean. Pippin was sulking. "Oh great," I thought. "I made him mope."

        "Pippin, look, I'm sorry I yelled at you. I just wasn't expecting you to be in my room."

        "I'm sorry, Lady Vanessa," he said looking at me as if he was truly sorry.

        "Awww... its ok Pippin. By the way, you can just call me Nessa. That's what everyone calls me."

        "Ok, Nessa, how would you like to go riding today with the others?"

        "Sounds like fun. I haven't ridden in about 5 days."

~ ~ ~ 30 minutes later ~ ~ ~

        All of the hobbits and I were standing around the stable deciding on which pony to ride.

        "You guys really aren't as short as I thought you hobbits were. I thought you were supposed to be 3 feet. It looks as if you're more around 5 feet."

        "Easy mistake, Lady Vanessa," Sam said.

        "For the last time! It's Nessa! None of my friends ever call me Vanessa."

        "Well, what horse do you want, Nessa?" Frodo asked.

        "I kinda like that one there on the end," I said. "It reminds me of my horse back home."

        Sam took out the horse, (its name was Colt I learned) and I asked, "What are you doing?"

"Getting your horse ready," he answered as if it were plain as day.

        "I can see that, but why? How do you expect me to get to know my horse if I don't do all that?"

        Each of us got our horses ready and mounted and we went on our way. We let Merry and Pippin lead because they knew the area the best. Pretty soon into our ride Merry called me up to the front with him and Pip.

        "So Nessa, do you have a special friend back home?" Merry asked.

        "If by that you mean a boyfriend, no." I saw Pippin's face perk up a little at my statement. "But there is a guy who I hang out with quite a bit just me and him. His name is Jake." I noticed Merry looked at his cousin after I said that. "You know, Pip, you kinda remind me of him."

        "Really?" he asked eagerly.

        "Yeah. You two look a lot a like and act the same too." I turned back around toward the trail and out of the corner of my eye I thought I saw Pippin Stick his tongue out at his cousin.

        Fairly soon after we came to a small stream. We all dismounted and let our horses drink.

        I sat down fairly close to my horse while Frodo and Sam prepared Elevenses. Merry and Pippin were wrestling with each other a little too close to the horses.

        "Knock it off you two," I said to them. They didn't even pretend to have heard me. "Hey, I thought I said to kn-," I was cut short by the searing pain in my head as I blacked out.


	6. A Boring Chapter but sweet!

Chapter 6: A Boring (But Sweet) Chapter

        "She's dead," was Pippin's first thought. "She told us to stop and now she's dead."

        "She's still breathing," Sam said. "Let's get her back to your house Pip. I'm going to put her on your horse with you, you ride her back."

        Pippin got me back to the house OK but I was still unconscious. They laid me down on the couch and put ice on my head. They all stayed the night at pippin's home.

        At about 3 in the morning I regained consciousness again. I sat up and looked around. I couldn't remember where I was but when I noticed Pip laying near me I knew I was at his hobbit hole. I looked around some more and saw that Frodo was the only one still up. 

        I quietly got up and remembered the earlier events when my head seared with pain. I walked over to Frodo and gently put my hand on his shoulder.

        "Nessa!" he exclaimed a little too loudly because Sam and Pippin shot straight up. 

        Pippin ran up to me and gave me the biggest hug ever. Sam and Frodo followed suit when Pip had let me go. Merry, realizing what was happening got up and moseyed over.

        "You finally decided to join us, now didn't you. I'm glad you're OK, Nessa," he said.

        "Thanx you guys but I gotta lie down. My head hurts so much right now." I lay back down on the couch as did Pippin who lay down next to me with his arm around me protectively.

        "Aren't they cute, Sam?" Frodo asked.

        "They are. I'm glad she's OK, Mr. Frodo."

        "Me too, Sam, me too."

        The next morning I was the first to awaken. Pip still had his arm around me, which I moved to go shower. I gave him a kiss before leaving though.

        Twenty minutes later I came out nice and clean and Pippin was the only other one awake so far. I rushed over to where he was sitting on the couch and lay down next to him again.

        "I wondered where you had gone," he said to me. "I missed you."

        "I was only gone long enough to bathe," I said with a laugh.

        "It seemed like an eternity to me. I was awake when you left to shower," he said softly. "I wanted to return your kiss but you left."

"I'm back now," I said staring into his green eyes.

"Oh give it a rest you two," Merry, who had just awoken, complained throwing a pillow at us. "Pip, leave the girl alone, she needs to rest. Nessa, lie down and put this pack on your head," and tossed me a new ice pack. 

        Of course Pippin wasn't going to leave me alone. We once again resumed our positions on the couch and I fell asleep with Pip gently stroking my hair. Oooo… so nice.

A/N: It's like 11:30 (and I have to get up at 5:30) and I still show no signs of stopping! Must keep writing... must please my adoring fans (if I have any!)…hands don't fail me now!!


	7. Going Home

Chapter 7: Going Home

It was close to noon by the time I got up to move around. When I got up I realized that Pippin wasn't next to me. So I raised myself off the couch and walked into the kitchen knowing I'd find at least one hobbit in there. Instead I found two.

        Merry and Pippin were talking in hushed voices in the far corner of the kitchen and immediately stopped talking when I entered the room.

        "Hello, guys," I said. "Where are Frodo and Sam? I need to talk to them."

        "Hello, Nessa. Ummm… they went home to change, but they'll be back later," Merry said.

        "Oh. Pippin, is it OK if I go into the library to get something to read?" I asked.

        "Ai," was the only response I got so I left. Something was up so I stayed by the door to hear what they were talking about.

        "It is folly! She has a life and it is not here. She must go back some time."

        "No! I love her. She can't go back."

        "I knew that coming. You fell in love with her. She must go back and it's going to break your heart, I'm afraid."

        I had to get away from the door. I couldn't bear to listen to my hobbit talk about me leaving. I knew I couldn't stay forever but I never really thought about leaving. "I must leave tonight," I thought. I decided to tell everyone tonight when Frodo and Sam came back.

        About an hour later I had remembered the spell to get me back home and I was prepared to leave. I gathered everyone into the main room and prepared to give them my announcement.

        "You all know I love each and everyone of you but I feel that it's time for me to go back home," I said with a sigh trying to keep the tears from falling. I looked at the hobbits and they were either looking at the ground or out the window. Pippin on the other hand just looked up at me as if he would cry too. "I will come back. It's just, I can't leave my home, my friends, and my life behind. I'm still in school; I want to finish that before I settle down somewhere permanent. Besides, my parents are probably worried about me." 

        I gave the three older hobbits hugs and then walked over to Pippin. "I'm leaving now," I said to him. He didn't reply so I turned and started to walk away.

        "You will come back?" Pip asked me.

        "Of course. Spring Break when I don't have to worry about missing any school."

        He ran over, hugged me, and said, "I'll miss you."

        "Me too. All of you. See ya." I repeated the spell to get me home, closed my eyes, and with another loud bang I was gone. 

        When I opened my eyes I was in my front yard. My mom came outside to see what the noise was. She saw me and strolled over.

        "I was wondering when you would come home," she said to me. "We thought Christy's parents didn't let her have many friends over."

        "Ummm… we were working on a project together."

        "Oh. Well, come on inside; dinner's ready."

        Months passed but not a day went by when I didn't think about my adventure to Middle-Earth.

~ ~ ~At School (day after I came back) ~ ~ ~

        "Nessa! You're back! How did Merry look? Did you tell him about me? What happened to your head?" she asked looking at the bruise on the side of my head.

        "I saw Merry. Pippin was cuter. I didn't tell him about you. And I was kicked in the head by a horse. I'll tell you everything in time."

        "Nessa, you freak! How was your nerd convention you missed school for?" my enemy Katy asked coming down the hall.

        "I left the most beautiful place in the universe to come to a high school in the middle of a cow pasture? I left someone who loved me for Katy?!" I asked Christy.

        "It looks that way," she answered.

        "I think I'm sick."

A/N: That's it! I've done it! I've finished my 1st solo fic! So didja like it? I need some feedback people!


	8. Notes!

Alright people, just an afterthought. I have already written the sequel and its sequel. I had posted the second one for a time but all I got were flames. It was up there for like, two months and no one, not even once, gave me a kind review. I tried to just ignore them, but ya know 8 flames really hurt. Anyway, I won't be posting the sequels, but if you would like to read them, I would gladly send them to you. Just send me your e-mail address and I'll get them out to you. Thank you guys!

-Tap-dancing Hobbit


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